Why I share my story and how you can share your story too
The very first time I shared my story at a Crisis Intervention Training (CIT), a man waited quite a while to talk to me after we were done. The rest of the class had returned from their brief break to finish out the end of the last day of the training. He told me that his sister had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. But he said he and his family didn’t really get it because she seemed fine. Now, he said, he understood. He told me he was going to go home and call his sister.
Moments like these encapsulate why I share my story.
By speaking to those with disorders like mine, we can relate to each other and feel less alone. And by speaking to those without mental health conditions, I can change the way they perceive mental illnesses and interact and support those that do live with them.
Our stories can create change.
Stories of lived experience are the most powerful tool we have in mental health advocacy and each one is unique, special, and meaningful. But it can be frightening to get up in front of a crowd or a camera lens. It can even be scary to hit submit on a written piece. Sharing your story leaves you vulnerable. Many aren’t ready for that, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You aren’t weak or a bad person for not wanting to open up about painful and deeply personal experiences or for fearing discrimination. But if you do want to share, it can be tough to know where to start or how to do it.
Here are my top tips for sharing your story
1) One of the best pieces of advice was given to me by the NAMI facilitator I often worked with doing CIT.
Sitting outside a classroom full of law enforcement officers, having just found out I would be presenting alone on my first time on the panel, I told her that I was worried about leaving something out. She gently told me that I would tell my story the way I needed to tell it.
It makes sense, though. If you forget something, maybe it’s not that important to talk about right now. At a recent mental health awareness training for which I spoke, I left out something that I considered pretty important. But it actually left the door open for me to talk about some recent events that could give people a better idea of what my illness is like now.
Similarly, when writing, if you leave something out or can’t fit everything you want to say due to word count restraints, it’s just an opportunity to write something new. You might even be able to expand on it more than you could have originally.
2) It’s okay to be nervous! I’m nervous EVERY TIME.
Every time I speak and every time I publish a post or submit an article, I am nervous. I worry that I made an error or that I’ve said something in the wrong way or that I’m going to upset someone. If you get nervous, you are not alone!
When speaking, I try to combat my nerves by giving myself ample time to prepare. The first step for me is self care. I give myself extra time to get ready in the morning. That way I don’t have to rush through breakfast or doing my makeup and I start my day feeling calm. I also try to give myself a minimum of three chances to run through my story in the days leading up to the talk even if it’s one I’ve given numerous times. I also often carry notecards or set up a pad of paper next to my computer that has the basic outline of my talk, just in case I get nervous and forget what comes next. I’ve gotten to a point where I typically don’t need them, but it eases my nerves to have it just in case.
3) Be honest and be yourself.
Even when it’s difficult, I find that my story has the most impact when I’m honest and vulnerable. It can be difficult to talk about certain experiences. But if there are things you aren’t ready to talk about, that’s okay. Tell your story how you need to tell it.
And it’s always important to be yourself. If I try too hard to be inspirational or write my story in a style that isn’t my voice, it never comes out quite right. Your voice is unique and special and very important. No one can tell your story the way you do.
4) Take care of yourself
When it comes to sharing your story, understand that people won’t always agree with what you have to say. And they can be very vocal about it at times, particularly on social media. But you and your story are important. Stay true to yourself and take care of yourself. If you need to step back, that’s okay. You can start or come back to mental health advocacy at any time. You can even share under an assumed name if that’s more comfortable for you. But sharing your story is not worth sacrificing your mental health.
So how do you get started?
Before you get started writing and/or speaking, take a moment to think about what you want to talk about. Is there a specific diagnosis or experience about which you want to share information? Who do you want to reach? What kind of effect do you want to have? It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away, and they may change over time too. At first, all I knew was that I wanted to change other people’s minds about schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder.
I got my start speaking and writing for my university’s chapter of Active Minds.
Each Active Minds chapter is unique and not every campus has one, but if you are a college student, mental health student groups like Active Minds or Students with Psychosis are good places to start. Not only is there potential for sharing your story online or at events, but you might also meet some other great students interested in mental health advocacy.
Outside of college, I began speaking through a local chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
The NAMI chapter I work with has opportunities to speak for Crisis Intervention Training for law enforcement and correctional officers, which is what I do, as well as speaking to students. Through this chapter, I’ve also recently spoken at some Mental Health Awareness Trainings for the public put on in coordination with The Kennedy Forum. In order to participate in Crisis Intervention Training, I did a one-day training course with NAMI. Not every chapter offers these programs, but they may offer additional programs. You can find out more about ways to share your story with NAMI and find your local chapter here.
Sharing your story through videos is another option.
I’ve only dabbled in recording myself speaking, but YouTube has become a great platform for mental health advocates.
If you want to write, there are a variety of options for getting started.
I started out guest blogging for my chapter of Active Minds. I eventually went on to have my own blog, but if you’re not ready to commit to a blog of your own, you can always look for opportunities to do guest blogs. In a search engine, type “write for us mental health” and some options should come up. Social media is another great place to share if you’re comfortable with that. And you can always create a separate handle under which to post like I do.
The Mighty is another great place to get started
The Mighty is a community for those with mental illnesses, chronic illnesses, health challenges, and disabilities. And they are always looking for stories to publish. You can write about your experiences as a whole, something in particular, or even how media and current events are playing into mental health. I’ve been a contributor for The Mighty since 2020, and currently I’m in their pilot Super Contributor program.
If you decide that you do want to start a blog, know that you don’t have to throw a lot of money down for a website. Platforms like Wix and WordPress offer free versions of their services.
No matter which way you choose to share it, your voice and your story not only matter, but have the power to change someone’s life.
*All recommendations are my own. I have not been paid to recommend or sponsor any of the above mentioned companies or organizations.
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