• Anxiety,  Depression,  Perfectionism,  PTSD,  Recovery

    The Slow Motion Collision and The Silent Crescendo

    Trigger Warning: Mention of self-harm and suicidal ideation In mental health, crises are often silent. Sometimes someone pulls a trigger and you rocket upwards in a grand, but inaudible crescendo. But some emergencies happen in slow motion. They can creep up on you – no trigger pulled, just a blind march with the noise becoming ever louder until it’s all you can hear. Last August, my world turned upside down in one swift motion. Cymbals crashed when I found out that my emotionally and sexually abusive ex-boyfriend moved into my apartment building. There was nothing slow about it. I went from feeling like I was getting my post-traumatic stress disorder…

  • Anxiety,  Depression,  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,  Perfectionism,  PTSD,  Recovery,  Schizoaffective Disorder,  Schizophrenia

    The Weight of Mental Illness – The Invisible Burden on a Lifelong Struggle

    Trigger Warning: Mention of Self-Harm From a young age, I began finding things along my path. I’m not sure which came first – depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, but they clung to me. And over the years, they swelled and shrunk at varying rates, but I could not shake them altogether. Each in turn flourished, multiplying symptoms. It became too much to carry in my hands, out where people could see. I felt the need to keep them out of sight, and tucked them into a backpack. Through the highs and lows of my childhood, this weight remained settled heavily on my shoulders. In junior high I found myself so…

  • Advocacy,  Anxiety,  Depression,  Eating Disorders,  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,  PTSD,  Recovery,  Schizoaffective Disorder,  Schizophrenia

    Accepting Mental Illness in Real Life

    If someone having visible symptoms of a mental illness makes you uncomfortable, the solution is not for them to stop. Society needs to learn to be accepting of mental illness in more than just theory. And this doesn’t only hold true for mental health. People with illnesses and disabilities of all kinds face this kind of stigma. I’ve been on both sides. I remember sitting on the L train in Chicago one evening with a friend. Across the aisle, a gentleman who had been muttering to himself began to hit himself on his forehead repeatedly.  It made me uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to respond. Do I intervene? Would…