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5 Things That Help Me When I’m Experiencing Psychosis
Schizoaffective disorder is a rollercoaster. An illness on the schizophrenia spectrum, it is a cocktail of mood symptoms and psychosis that’s well shaken and then lit on fire. Despite taking medications and being in therapy, I do still experience symptoms sometimes, including symptoms of psychosis like hallucinations. And when I’m fighting my way through a sea of psychosis, I don’t expect people to know what to do. For a very long time, I didn’t know what to do either. I spent years bracing myself through my symptoms as I waited for medication adjustments to take effect. But with every episode of psychosis that I’ve endured, I’ve learned new things about…
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How She Helped Me – Small Things, Big Impact
To the coworker who helped me when I had a hallucination at work, thank you. When I told you I had a weird question and I didn’t know how to ask, you gave me your full attention. No discomfort, no judgement, you listened. You listened to me say that I had been sitting at my desk working and heard the sound of scratching from the inside of the server room door and I didn’t know if it was real or all in my head. Only a select few people in the office know that I have schizoaffective disorder, including you. But I had never approached anyone in the office with…
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To my friend living with psychosis,
Hey, you – you transitioning out of that facility; you sitting at home; you still figuring out your next move; and you who feels like there’s no hope and no one understands. My friend, this letter is for you. My name is Katie, and though I may not have been through the exact same things you have, I get it. I’ve been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder since I was 17. I’ve taken handfuls of meds, done countless hours of therapy, and lost parts of my life to my disorder. And I’m here to tell you that there is hope for things to get better. Life might feel impossible right now.…
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5 Of The Best Things Anyone Has Ever Done For Me And My Schizoaffective Disorder
It’s normal to feel lost when it comes to how to help someone with schizoaffective disorder or schizophrenia. Even if you’re the person living with it, you may not always know what to ask for or even how to ask. But that’s okay. Unless you’ve been through this before, there’s no reason you would know what to do. And, while those of us living with psychosis may have some of the same or similar symptoms, these illnesses are highly personal and what works for one person may not work for another. But to help you come up with things that will help you or your loved one, in no particular…
- Advocacy, Anxiety, Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, PTSD, Recovery, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia
Help, Hypocrisy, and What it Took for Me To Ask
I shocked my psychiatrist recently. I have never seen her more surprised than when I asked, “do you think a third session every week would be helpful?” It took her a moment to process. “yes,” she said, “I think it would.” Today she explained her surprise. In the nearly 8 years she’s been working with me, I’ve done just about everything to avoid asking for help. And suddenly, I am determined to get it. Let me give you some background My childhood and teen years were spent trying to convince myself that my obsessive-compulsive disorder was quirkiness and that I was being overdramatic by thinking I was suffering from depression.…
- Anxiety, Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, PTSD, Recovery, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia
What do I want when I need support?
What do I want when I’m not okay? How can you help me when I’m coming unraveled on the floor? What are you expected to do when my nerves are on fire and I can’t handle it? What are you supposed to say when I’m telling you I’m seeing something that you can’t see? How are you supposed to know what to do? Well, you aren’t. I spent years wanting someone to just know what I wanted and how to help me without me having to explain. But over the years I realized that I couldn’t expect others to know. Why would you know? Why would you know how to…
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When All You Can Do Is Try
Receiving a diagnosis of schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder is life changing. It can turn your entire world upside down. I would love to tell you that I’ve always handled my diagnosis and living with schizoaffective disorder with dignity and grace, but that’s just not the case. Despite my ability to articulate what I’ve been through, I don’t have myself entirely together all the time. I would like to believe that I do, but I don’t. I’ve been bitter, I’ve been angry, and I’ve been in denial. It’s feelings not unlike that which some people with diagnoses of other chronic illnesses or terminal illnesses go through. I used to try to…
