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The Trauma of Experiencing Mental Illness
Trauma is often a trigger for mental illness, but experiences had due to mental illness can also be traumatic themselves. I’ve had near death or serious injury experiences. I’ve been threatened, manipulated, and emotionally abused by an ex-boyfriend. I’m a rape survivor with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). While my PTSD is triggered by things that remind me of my traumas, I’ve also discovered that I have a similar response to fears about experiencing symptoms and actions related to my schizoaffective disorder. For much of my life, I have battled depression At certain points in time, beginning at a very early age, I would think about suicide. Sometimes it was just…
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Adapting to life with schizoaffective disorder (part 2) – Stigma
That’s me in the photo – multiple ear piercings, blue streaks in my bangs, looking confident. It was my high school graduation and I had done it. A year earlier, I would never have doubted that I would graduate, but a few weeks before I started my senior year, my world came crashing down around me when I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I thought my life might be over. But mostly, I was afraid of what others would think and how they would treat me, and I knew my parents were afraid of the stigma I might face as well. Convinced that I was different I fully expected people…
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Schizophrenia – Taking the power from the word
For a very long time, I lived in a cloud of shame and fear brought on by my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. I made my parents promise not to share it with my extended family. For a bit, I even kept my diagnosis from my brother, who was away at college. By the end of the first year with my disorder, less than 20 people knew, including my parents and doctors. I was so afraid of the power of the word schizophrenia. Fighting the fear I was afraid that the word alone would make people see me in a different light. Could it wash away years of friendship? What did…
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There’s more to the story of schizoaffective disorder than I like to say
I didn’t realize I was avoiding it Over the last two weeks, I’ve come to realize something – the farther from my last severe episode of schizoaffective disorder I get, the less detail I share about the symptoms. I speak about it now more than ever, but I tend to gloss over the symptoms and focus on stigma, treatment, and mostly overcoming things. Proof that people aren’t alone and that it’s possible to live a full life despite severe mental illness and all the trials and tribulations related to it. But that’s not really the whole story of schizoaffective disorder. Not that that isn’t important Not that it isn’t important…
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On opening up about a diagnosis
Opening up is easier said than done There’s so much fear involved in opening up about a diagnosis or symptoms. It’s incredibly common for people to feel like their loved ones will abandon them or think poorly of them if they speak up about what’s happening. Fear is often joined by denial, and these feelings can be so strong that many people remain silent even as their conditions deteriorate to critical levels. My struggle with speaking up I have a very supportive family who always made it clear that I could tell them anything, but I struggled to tell them about the depression I’d been experiencing since I was a…