• Anxiety,  Depression,  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,  PTSD,  Recovery,  Schizoaffective Disorder,  Schizophrenia

    Mental Illness Stole my Identity – Stories from Recovery

    I never thought that I tied my identity to my mental illnesses. I’m more than schizoaffective disorder. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is just something I live with. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) doesn’t define me. And depression and anxiety are a battle, not my identity. I convinced myself that I am my own true self. But after 13 years of therapy, I’m realizing that I have no idea who I am at all. And it’s nearly ground my recovery to a halt. I preached that I am not my illnesses. I am a person, not a diagnosis. But as we dig into the deepest darkest parts of my mind, I’m realizing that…

  • Advocacy,  Anxiety,  Depression,  Eating Disorders,  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,  PTSD,  Recovery,  Schizoaffective Disorder,  Schizophrenia

    Why Mental Health Education Needs to Begin Before a Career

    When I started speaking publicly about schizoaffective disorder in college, it was an education on, “look what people like me can achieve despite all of this” Now, when I speak for classes and community presentations, it’s, “look what it’s really like to live with this” And when I speak for law enforcement and correctional officers, it’s, “look at how I go through all of this, but I’m still just like you.” Same life story, different goal. I rewrote my talk again in anticipation of speaking to the Chicago Police Department for the second time. I began speaking publicly as a junior in college and was both terrified and excited at…

  • Depression

    Childhood Depression – Growing Up in a World of Grey

    Trigger Warning: Discussion of dark thoughts, childhood suicidal ideation and intent, and self-harm Summer hung heavy in the air, but a light breeze ruffled my hair as I stood outside at my school and stared at the road. It wasn’t particularly busy, but the cars would fly by despite the school zone signs. At ten-years-old, I stood there thinking that, if I timed it right, I could walk out there and it would all be over. A friend came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder and asked me a question. Her words went right past me as I whipped around. I looked at her with wide…