Auditory Hallucinations – A Closer Look
We talked about visual hallucinations in Visual Hallucinations – A Closer Look, so now it’s time to dig into auditory hallucinations.
One summer day in 2008, I was getting ready for the day. I was home alone with no music or TV. From the back corner of my bedroom behind me, I heard a snicker. It was short, but crystal clear. A man’s voice. Laughing at me. Days passed, and then I heard the sound of a guitar being strummed just once. I began to hear all sorts of other strange sounds, like the creaking of floorboards under carpet at night. I could hear each slow but purposeful footfall, as if someone was walking up and down the hall that led to my bedroom.
Music became one of my most common auditory hallucinations. I’ve heard all types – classical, pop, African drums at one point. It was often just quiet enough that I couldn’t figure out what song was playing. It often happened when I was listening to other music or over people talking.
When hallucinations meet paranoia
During the period in college where I was seeing the shadow people, I would sometimes hear someone walking directly behind me while I was walking on campus. I could hear their footsteps out of sync with mine and the rustle of their clothes. I would look back over my shoulder, but there was never anybody there.
Just last year, I was out with my dog and my boyfriend one night. All of a sudden I could hear that distinct noise that the fabric on winter coats make when it rubs together. What I thought I was hearing was someone taking two quick steps towards my back and reaching out to grab my hood or the back of my coat. To my boyfriend’s surprise, for no apparent reason, I launched myself forward and whipped around to see who was behind me. Once again – nobody.
Not all voices fit the stereotype
You know how you have a voice that you think in inside your head? Imagine that, but other people’s voices. Sometimes it’s one person, sometimes it’s more. I’ve heard all genders and all different tones and accents. Sometimes they talk to me, sometimes it seems like they’re talking to no one, and other times they talk to each other. In each case, it’s brief – only a few sentences. It felt like I was eavesdropping on conversations.
I started writing them down in a notebook because they were so strange. Sometimes the sentences didn’t even make sense. Like when a young man said, “he cannot these cortexes find.” I would often hear these voices while I was trying to fall asleep or study. They were more annoying than frightening though. It was like someone was turning a knob to change the station on a radio – I would just hear bits and pieces as they faded in and out and into one another.
Then there are the external voices
At one very stressful point in my life, I felt like everybody needed something from me and I couldn’t keep up. I was serving and bartending at the time, and I began hearing people call for me while I was working. I would be entering an order for a table at the computer and hear “Katie!” pause. “Katie!” crystal clear. “Miss!” from another side of the room. Then, “Excuse me!” Each time, I would look up to see what table needed assistance, but no one was actually trying to get my attention. I began hearing it outside of work as well, but more subtle. While infrequent, there are still times where I hear it.
I don’t have much experience with the typical kind of voices, but I do know people who experience them. For some people, it’s just one voice, but for many it’s multiple voices who may or may not talk to each other. Some voices, referred to as command voices, tell you to do things. Some voices narrate what you’re doing. Some tell you you’re worthless and people don’t love you. Some do all of that. And still others are non-threatening. In each case, the volume and malice can be cranked up by stress, including stress from your disorder. Voices can go from speaking to screaming, and commands can go from benign to dangerous.
The reality of auditory hallucinations
In some cases, particularly when the voices start at a young age, people may not realize that it’s abnormal to hear voices. In other cases, people just don’t talk about it because they don’t want to sound crazy. For most, it’s easy to figure out that a voice is not coming from another person, and many people recognize that that is strange. But for many of us these auditory hallucinations become a part of our reality, especially in cases where medication doesn’t stop the voices and sounds entirely. They may not have a real external cause, but they are very real experiences.
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