• Anxiety

    Social Anxiety – An Open Letter

    Dear friend, You are not alone in your social anxiety. I see your struggle behind that smile that fools so many. I see how badly you wish it would stop. Maybe you wonder what’s wrong with you – things that are easy for others might feel panic inducing to you. Social anxiety comes in countless sizes, shapes, and colors, but whatever version resides in your chest, I see you, I feel for you, and I am right there with you. As a child, I was painfully shy. Chances are, if I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t talk to you. Tears would crowd my eyes as I stood in a room…

  • Anxiety,  Depression,  Perfectionism,  Recovery,  Schizoaffective Disorder

    The Pressure of Perceived Expectations – Stories from Recovery

    Can you feel it? That crushing weight that moves so slowly, pressing you down against the ground, until it’s hard to breathe. Pressure is often the enemy of mental health, and it can come from anywhere – yourself, family, employers, teachers, and even people who aren’t intentionally putting pressure on you. My mind manufactures pressure dressed up in an endless number of ways. Expectations begin like icicles. It starts as just a drip. In high school, people expected me to do well simply because that was my pattern. Academics and athletics came easily, but I quickly began to feel as though it were my job to excel. But when the…

  • Anxiety,  Depression

    Depression: silently coming apart at the seams

    Trigger Warning: Mention of self-harm and suicidal ideation In high school, I reinvented myself. In junior high I hid my extreme shyness and inner turmoil behind an obsession with horses. But as I transitioned from junior high to high school, I decided that I didn’t want to be “that weird girl” anymore. I had been involved in theater since I was 12 and simply utilized what I had learned. I wasn’t confident, but I could fake it. I’ve always been timid, but I had wanted to be a leader. And I wasn’t happy, but I could pretend I was. The result was a new identity – a fearless leader, alternative…