- A Day in the Life, Hallucinations, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia
A Day in My Life with Schizoaffective disorder – Moving Day
It’s moving day – well, day 2. We spent the night in our new apartment. It’s still skeletal when it comes to furnishings. Bags and boxes litter the rooms, stacked on the furniture and the floor. Despite all of that, I already feel at home. I lean towards the mirror as I put on my makeup. It might seem strange to some that I would wear makeup when I’ll be spending my day lifting and carting around boxes, but, for me, makeup is a form of self-care. I don’t think I look awful without it, but I feel more secure when I’ve spent time taking care of myself. It’s not…
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What My Disorganized Thoughts Feel Like
I wake up every morning not knowing if my thoughts will stay in place today. When talking with others, my thoughts can become derailed and wander off to other related subjects. I can be perfectly aware of where the conversation is, but my mind takes me by the hand and leads me on paths that gently begin to deviate from the topic. In high school, my friends became accustomed to me piping up when the conversation headed my way, announcing, “a really weird train of thought led me to…” after making my remarks, we would retrace the steps from the original topic to my latest comment. It’s not that I’m…
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Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective Disorder – How they’re alike, how they’re different, and what it felt like to get each diagnosis
During my mental health journey, I originally received a schizophrenia diagnosis It sounds strange, but I was a little excited when I received the schizophrenia diagnosis. Not because I wanted to have schizophrenia, but because now I had a reason for why these things were happening to me. I had documented treatment methods. And it was something I could research and learn more about. That was something that was very important for me. Possessing knowledge about it made me feel like I had more control at a time when my world was spinning out of control. The diagnosis also crushed me. At that point, all I really knew was the…
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When All You Can Do Is Try
Receiving a diagnosis of schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder is life changing. It can turn your entire world upside down. I would love to tell you that I’ve always handled my diagnosis and living with schizoaffective disorder with dignity and grace, but that’s just not the case. Despite my ability to articulate what I’ve been through, I don’t have myself entirely together all the time. I would like to believe that I do, but I don’t. I’ve been bitter, I’ve been angry, and I’ve been in denial. It’s feelings not unlike that which some people with diagnoses of other chronic illnesses or terminal illnesses go through. I used to try to…
- Adapting to life with schizoaffective disorder, Cognitive Symptoms, Disorganized symptoms, Hallucinations, Negative Symptoms, Recovery, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia
Adapting to life with schizoaffective disorder (part 3) – symptoms
I didn’t know what to expect. Deep down I had suspected that it was schizophrenia, but getting confirmation from my doctor made it real. I was scared. None of the stories I knew about schizophrenia ended with someone being symptom-free. I sat in the car after my doctor’s appointment with my head spinning. Were the hallucinations going to get worse? Was I going to become delusional? Would I largely lose touch with reality? At that moment, I decided that that was not going to happen to me. It was more denial than anything else, but I had my mind set on it. I was not going to lose my life…
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Supporting a loved one who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia
That moment where you hear the words “schizophrenia.” Heart wrenching, gut turning news. What do you do? How do you help someone fight such a complex illness? What’s going to happen to them? And what is your own life going to be like now? In no way do I have all the answers, and this is by no means an exhaustive list, but here are a few things you can do to help a loved one who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. Educate yourself Schizophrenia is a complex illness that affects both the brain and mental health. Medication for schizophrenia can also be confusing. One of the…
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Reality Checking
During a question and answer session after myself and another speaker shared our stories to educate sheriff officers during Crisis Intervention Training, one of the officers brought up that he has a friend with schizophrenia and his friend will sometimes ask him if he heard or saw something, which is a tool many of us refer to as reality checking. The officer continued, saying he was usually able to confirm the experience as real, but then he asked, “what do I do if it isn’t real?” I cannot stress enough how important this question is, and I have the feeling this is a question many people have, and may or…
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There’s more to the story of schizoaffective disorder than I like to say
I didn’t realize I was avoiding it Over the last two weeks, I’ve come to realize something – the farther from my last severe episode of schizoaffective disorder I get, the less detail I share about the symptoms. I speak about it now more than ever, but I tend to gloss over the symptoms and focus on stigma, treatment, and mostly overcoming things. Proof that people aren’t alone and that it’s possible to live a full life despite severe mental illness and all the trials and tribulations related to it. But that’s not really the whole story of schizoaffective disorder. Not that that isn’t important Not that it isn’t important…