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How My Negative Symptoms From Schizoaffective Disorder Affect My Frame of Mind
It’s common for me to say that the first sign that something was seriously wrong was when my long-standing symptoms of depression changed. They felt new and different despite the general similarities to the depression I had always known. I wasn’t sad or hopeless. It was more like being stuck in my head, sitting cross-legged and watching life happen around me. After several experiences with two distinct symptoms of psychosis from the class referred to as negative symptoms, I began to recognize the differences I felt back in the beginning and at times since then. Living with depressive-type schizoaffective disorder, I experience both symptoms of depression and negative symptoms, and…
- Anxiety, Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Perfectionism, PTSD, Recovery, Schizoaffective Disorder
The Let Down – A dangerous place for mental illness
At the end of a stressful event or series of events, whether good or bad, comes the let down. I’m the type of person who will put my head down and try (not always successfully) to power through a situation. I give it my all, draining myself of energy, emotion, and strength. But once I’ve given every ounce of my mind, body, and soul, I feel like I have nothing left. The emptiness aches so much that it welcomes all of the thoughts and feelings I fight to keep at bay. The let down is a dangerous place for me. When there is nothing left of a situation to push…
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Negative Symptoms – A Look Inside
What are negative symptoms? Well, they can be difficult to explain. Two days ago, I sat in the passenger seat of the car, sorting through my thoughts. I was irritated, but consciously forced urges to say mean things out of my head. There was nothing worth fighting over. At a certain point, the mean thoughts slowed and stopped appearing. Instead, they were replaced by ordinary things to say like comments on the songs playing and random thoughts. As they unfolded in my mind, I looked them over. But with each one, I ultimately decided they weren’t worth sharing, though there was no anger behind it. So we drove in silence.…